Saturday, June 28, 2014

My Desire

















To know love is my desire
To be touched by love
To share joy, sorrow,
hope for tomorrow

To know love is my desire
To see your smile
hear your voice calling my name
My life will never be the same


To know love is my desire
to be held, caressed, knowing you care
in a deep, real way
our lives we'll share

My heart's dream is to know true love
the kind that doesn't hurt or cause pain
To know love in this life is my desire
My life will never be the same

To know love is my desire
To see your smile
hear your voice calling my name
My life will never be the same

 

Friday, June 27, 2014

The Greatest Gift ©

















You were not the most handsome man
Nor were you the kindest
You had eyes full of pain
Sad, sad eyes
Anger was your constant companion
Why were you so angry Flyn?
Who hurt you so deeply?
Sometimes when I looked at you
I saw a hurting child
I wanted to wrap my arms around you
and hold you close for a while
But you wouldn't let me

You never let me in
Your pain was deep and dark
I wish I knew how to love you
I wish I knew how to soothe you
You made me cry
Your cruel words
Hard looks
Silence, violence
You hurt me so deeply
When I swallowed the bottle of pain pills
I really did want to die

I couldn't let death win
I had to fight
You were my best teacher
I cried out to God day and night
The years passed and
you never changed
But I grew stronger everyday
My faith in God did not sway

I wish I could have loved you past
the hatred of your stepfather
your childhood pain
Vietnam
drug addiction
alcoholism
homelessness
anger
shame

You never learned to conquer your demons
When you died
I cried day and night
I cried
because I love you still
I love you Flyn
I always will

You taught me that love covers
a multitude of faults
Love is the strongest force on
the face of the earth
Love last forever
transcends this life
heals every hurt
eases every pain
When all else is gone
Love remains
Thank you for teaching me
the greatest gift is love



















Flynard Cunningham
May 15, 1949 - August 9, 2013

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hair

Someone said its your crown and glory
but my hair is another story

It reflects y personality
Some days its big and wild  on some days its long and straight

I like it short and curly
or shaved on one side and braided on another

Some people wear it bushy and bold
and some like it silky and tame

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Night Season
















Night season shrouded me like a heavy garment
and choked me like thick smoke
My breath escaped this earthen vessel
and sang a song of despair
My tears flowed like streams in the desert
and carried me to a place, a secret place
I found hope there

Night season stalked me like a jealous lover
You will never find another
I will follow you all of your days
Smother you, cover you
Never release my hand
He chased me like a ravenous beast. I ran,
crawled and climbed into the secret place
There I found peace

He wooed me into his bosom again
He had me in his grip
His waters came rushing in
like a mountainous wave
Lifting me up and crashing me to the ground
I lay there broken, gasping for breath, life, relief
I fell down, down, down
Too much pain
I feel like I'm going insane

I saw the earth open and heard these words spoken
Just give in, you can not win
I have reigned since the beginning of time
You belong to me your soul is mine
In desperation I heard my spirit say
Speak to the mountain
Speak to the mountain
Speak to the mountain MOVE!

To the mountain I began to say
You are not my master
I will not fall into your pit
You don't own my soul
You cannot win, I relinquish your control

Healing rays lifted me up from where I had fallen
I remembered my time
In the secret place
And my soul sang, my soul sang, my soul sang...
There is no darkness in the secret place
Only the light of the Son
I will walk in the light of day

Night season began to melt away
I saw mountains move, shimmy, shake and sway
Dark shadows ran from the light with shrieks of fear
As my song filled the atmosphere

Day season flashed like lightning from the east
I heard him say
My child Its going to be a bright sun shiny day,
you have conquered your beast

Day season promised never to leave or forsake me
Into his secret place he lifted and carried me
There we reign together in glorious victory
There is a secret place to those who seek his face
Seek his face and find the secret place

 

In the Morning

 
In the morning
We will dance, shout and sing
In the morning
We will laugh, run and leap
Crying tears of joy

Our night season is over
Our new day is dawning
Its a day of victory
A day of rejoicing

In the morning
I will remember yesterday was only a test
A vapor of smoke, a shadow of turning

In the morning
I will live forever
In green pastures
Beside still waters
In eternal light
My evening has passed
Morning is here at last
 

Friday, June 20, 2014

Black Girl © Part One
















I was born at Mercy Hospital.
My mother was only twenty-one years old.
She was supposed to have a hysterectomy a year before I was born.
This is what I was told.
When my sister Belinda was born
Momma started bleeding on the operating table.
The Nuns at Mercy Hospital cried
"Hold on honey, we are going to get you through this
Just believe God is able."

Daddy was a storefront preacher.
He had secrets that nobody would ever believe to be true.
To tell the truth, we all have secrets.
I may share some of mine, here with you.

When Belinda was four months old,
Momma found out another baby she carried.
First there was Larry
born nine months after momma and daddy got married.
Junior came twelve months later.
Then along came Belinda with all the drama.
It was called a placenta previa pregnancy,
designed to kill my momma.
And then there was me.

Daddy was a Jack of all trades.
He worked for the government as a mechanic fixing airplanes.
But that's not all he could do.
Daddy could do plumbing, electrical wiring, and carpentry work too.
He could even preach and teach.
The only thing daddy couldn't do
was love his family like the bible tells us to.

Husbands love you wives as
Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
Well as far as I can tell,
a man is supposed to love his wife so much that he will die for her.
Die for your wife, now that is a concept that we need to explore further.

Eve was the first wife on the planet.
Her husband Adam was God's crowning creation
sent on a special mission
to populate the earth with sons and daughters of God.
To do this Adam needed a wife.
So almighty God put Adam to sleep on his operating table
and took from his side a rib bone.
From this rib bone, God created woman.
She was created to help man.
They were both part of the eternal plan.

Now before time began there existed a heavenly kingdom.
Almighty God created every creature that inhabited this land.
Angels, seraphim, cherubim and all sorts of living creatures.
The most beautiful of them all
was Lucifer the Angel of worship.
This magnificent creature was a living symphony.
He covered the very throne of God with living music that filled eternity.
Everything in heaven is alive, moving, glowing,
giving praise to the him who is All-seeing, Ever Present, All Knowing.
Lucifer was illuminated with light, as were all the other sons of God.
When he moved the music within him gave praise
in majestic melody to the one who sits on the throne.
For he is God, God alone.

Lucifer danced and sang, and music leaped off of him like
spiced perfume flowing throughout the kingdom of heaven.
As he worshiped, all the other angels joined in and all of the kingdom
bowed before the throne of the heavenly king.
Roses, calla lilies and violets all joined in to sing
praises to the Most High King.
And the worship leader of heaven began to soak it all in
as if he was the object of their worship.
This was the first sin.
His glorious beauty became his doom.
He wanted all the worship displayed in this heavenly throne room.
Here we see the conception and birth of pride
festering on the inside,
unable to be seen,
but not hidden from the heavenly King.

This beautiful creature got the thought in his head
to take over the kingdom, but he was banished instead.
He convinced one hundred billion angels to perpetrate the coup.
And all of his cohorts were banished too.
Exiled, shamed, kicked out of God's heavenly domain.

Michael the Arch Angel led the army of heaven
as they fought Lucifer and his demented horde.
And conquered them in the name of the Lord.
They fell like lightning!
From heaven to earth they fell
and on their way down their light turned to darkness,
their glory to shame,
they became brute beast,
deformed creatures, unworthy to bear heaven's name.
This exiled traitor set up his kingdom of darkness in the air.
He plotted to rule the earth from his evil lair.

Now God placed Adam and his wife in a garden called Eden.
They were living souls infused with eternal life.
Within that life giving essence was true love,
the heavenly kind, that says I am yours and you are mine.
Adam loved his wife and she loved him too.
Living and loving is what they were created to do.

God visited Adam in the garden and they walked together in eternity
In this special time of learning from the King
Adam named every living creature and every creeping thing.
He walked and talked with God in the cool of the day until one day Satan
fooled his wife into wanting to be like God.
This is called the pride of life.
So she ate from the tree that had been forbidden to partake of.
And Adam ate too.
He did it for love.
You see because of the long talks he had with his master
he knew that this act would cause cataclysmic disaster.

Eve was now death doomed, mortal, merely human.
She had to die for her disobedience he knew this was true.
So he partook of the forbidden fruit and chose to die too.
Adam looked down through time and his eternal eyes could see,
one day a savior would come and set the human race free.
He was the second and last Adam, the Son of Almighty God.
On the head of the enemy he would surely trod.

Why would this God man give his life.
Because before time began he died for his wife.
God took this act of love and wrapped it in time
and set the clock and watched it unwind.

You and I were part of the plan
to regain glory and honor for mortal man.
So listen to my story that I choose to share
and dig deep inside you'll find yourself there.
Where, you ask?
In the book that was written before time began
when God chose to defeat Satan by using mortal man.



To be continued


Thursday, June 19, 2014

When I Was One and Twenty

When I Was One and Twenty
By E.A. Housman
Paraphrase by  Donna McKanders



















When I was twenty one years young
I listened to the wisdom of an older one
Shower them with gifts,
Give them chocolate and flowers,
But never give your heart
For you will relinquish your powers.”
But I was twenty one, I already knew everything
What kind of wisdom could this old man bring?

When I was twenty one
I heard the old man say.
If you give your heart away
There’s a price you must pay.
Sighs, sorrows and regret,
this act will cost you.”
Now I’m twenty two, and
All he said is true, so true.


 

Today I Set Before You an Open Door


























What a difference a day makes
Yesterday, it all seemed so simple
Running, with lifted arms
Praising God, for life, youth, love
Nothing to stop me
No barriers, no past to be paralyzed by,
My life was an empty canvas

A big old road block named Trouble,
got in my way
Never met him before
He followed me everywhere I went,
Mostly I saw his shadow
Creeping around every door
What you want?
Why you following me?

I thought I heard Trouble say,
I want your future,
your destiny
Every move I make,
Trouble is mocking me
You caint rise up, might as well stop tryin'
I stopped your Momma, your Daddy,
your cousins and them
You might as well give in,
You caint win

I tried to look Trouble in the eye
I couldn’t find him anywhere,
Just his shadow
You just an illusion
Causing confusion
A shadow of something
already defeated
Under my feet

Today is a brand new day
Ain’t nothing gonna stop me
Cause I'm not afraid any more
I see before me an open door
I’m walking through it this time.
Into my destiny…


 

Today I set before You an Open Door















 
What a difference a day makes
Yesterday, it all seemed so simple
Running, with lifted arms
Praising God, for life, youth, love
Nothing to stop me
No barriers, no past to be paralyzed by,
An empty canvass
A big old road block named Trouble,
got in my way
Never met him before
He followed me everywhere I went,
Mostly I saw his shadow
Creeping around every door
What you want?
Why you following me?
I thought I heard him say,
I want your future,
yo destiny
Every move I make,
Trouble is mocking me
You cain’t rise up, might as well stop tryin
I stopped yo Momma, yo Daddy,
yo cousins an nem
You might as well give in,
You cain’t win
I tried to look Trouble in the eye
I couldn’t find him nowhere,
Just his shadow
You just an illusion
Causing confusion
A shadow of something
already defeated
Under my feet
Today is a brand new day
Ain’t nothing gonna stop me
Cause I ain’t scared no more
I see before me an open door
I’m walking through it this time.
Into my destiny…

     

A New Day Dawning



















Welcome to your new day
It has been on its way since creation
and awaiting your arrival
Many things have tried to stop you from seeing this day
The family you were born into
The man you married when you were too young to know better
The time you tried to end it all because of all the abuse
But God had his hand on you
You came through many tests and trials
Storms, sorrow and shame
But you made it in Jesus name!
So be glad and rejoice
This is your day because you made a choice
to believe God in spite of the odds
Mountains got in your way but you learned how to make them obey
Speak to the mountain, speak to the mountain, speak to the mountain Move!
And they did!
Weapons came against you
And you spoke to them too
I declare and decree that no weapon shall prosper that is formed against me!
They were formed but they did not prosper!
You climbed higher and higher with every test
Now you are destined to receive the best
that God has prepared for you
All because you chose to believe that
What God has promised he is able to do
Welcome to your day
You passed your test
Now its time to be blessed, blessed, blessed
The best is yet to come
Step into a brand new day
The glory shall be shown and known
Take mountains, take kingdoms, 
This is your predestined day
There will be no delay!
 

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Happily Divorced- there is life after divorce

When my husband filed for divorce I was devastated. Not because we were happily married, but because I was convinced that God hates divorce. Then I had a dream. In this video I share my dream. My divorce freed me to live a happy, fulfilled life. There is a great life waiting for you on the other side of your final divorce decree.





This video is taken from my You Tube channel, I was sharing my views on the myth "Black don't crack" when I felt I should share my marriage and divorce experience. If you are in an abusive marriage, please seek help. Tell someone what you are experiencing, and get out as soon as possible.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Words to Inspire

 
I was inspired to write this poem
It is titled
Africa's Children of Destiny
By
Donna McKanders
 
 
 
 
 

Africa's Children of Destiny

 














When the angel of sleep cradles me
In the warm nocturnal blanket of midnight
I dream
I dream of children
Africa's children
Dark and comely
Waiting in the corridors of justice
With eyes of hope, dreams of promise, hearts of courage
Africa's sons and daughters
Arising from the dust to walk as kings and queens in the earth
And so they come
From the four corners of the dark continent
As a mighty army
Africa's children
Dark and comely
Marching in step, in time, in divine synchrony
Marching to fulfil their destiny
I hear the voice of destiny summonsing her children
Awake, awake, put on your strength
Shake yourselves from the dust
It's your time now
Awake Africa's children of destiny
Like a veil lifted from my eyes
The angel of sleep escapes with the rising of the sun
Over the horizon past the expanse of the deep blue
I see farther than my eyes can see
Africa's sons and daughters marching like waves of glory
converge upon the earth
Dark and comely
Africa's children covering the earth
And justice shall run down like water
and righteousness like a mighty stream
All the earth shall see it together
and the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord
As the waters cover the sea
And so they come Africa's children of destiny






 

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Free Me!



When I was a little girl
my Momma would shampoo my long,
 thick, bushy, uncontrollable, hair.
shampoo, press and curl.
Ouch! Ouch!
Hush girl, I'm not hurting you!
'Bout ten loosely braided locks fall from my thick mane.
As I sit in front of the heat vent waiting for it to tame.
Why my hair so bushy? I say to myself.
My head hurts SO bad!
Why Momma always making such a fuss over my head?
Come here girl let me comb yo hair out.
Ouch, Ouch!
If you put yo hand up here one mo time I'll hit you with this brush
I heard Momma shout.
What is this madness all about?
Sizzle, Sizzle, sizzle went the pressing oil as the hot comb
cooked my hair to pristine silkiness.
It's hot in here, my neck hurts, can I take a break?
I'm half way done, Please, just sit still for goodness sake!
Shampoo, comb,
comb, part and grease
that scalp.
Got to rescue this girl from the cursed African nap.
When all her work was thru, she'd say, Now don't tell no one what I done
Don't you dare.
If they say, do you get your hair pressed?
Say, No I don't, cause I got good hair!
If this hair so good why do I feel so bad?
I know what I'm gonna do when I get old enough
I ain't gonna shampoo press and curl.
I'm tired of all this deceitful stuff!
I'm gonna set my hair free
When I grow up,
I'm gonna just be me !



Friday, June 13, 2014

Winters Coming

 
 
 
 

It's Fall, and the leaves are changing color-
so is my hair,
The sun falls asleep earlier
                                                              So do I,

                                           Thoughts of winter linger in the wind,
Cool breezes, clandestine voices,
peeking in the windows of my mind.
Every morning another branch is almost empty-
Why did the leaves have to fall,
so soon, too soon?


Must get my work done,
I here wisdom say with the rising of the sun,
Winter don't wait for no one.
Wasn't thinking about winter ,
in summer.
didn't think about nothing,
in Spring.


Clouds dancing, earth turning, sun burning up the oceans,
and sending it all back in refreshing rain.
No sorrows, no worries, no cares, no pain,
Spring, you taught me to sing.

Little Sally Walker sitting in a saucer,
Rise sally rise, wipe yo weeping eyes.

 
Summer came like a mighty conqueror,
All dressed up in armor,
Hot and sultry, long jubilant days,
pushing back the darkness, resisting the light of the moon,
didn't know it couldn't last forever.
Fall came too soon,
and winter's on her trail.

Rise Sally rise, wipe yo weeping eyes,
Put your hand on yo hip and let yo back bone slip.
 
Not ready for winter,
got things to do.
Ain't got nothing to lose,
don't have time for no sad song.
Ain't singin the blues.
The sun gets up every morning,
so do I.
singing, Glory Halleluiah,
So do I,

Time for living, got a promise to see.
Fall is just another season,
To fulfill my destiny.
Tell winter he'll have to wait,
Me and destiny got a predetermined date.
I'm not early or late.

It's my season,
in the Fall of my life.

Aw shake it to the east,
Aw shake it to the west,
Aw shake it to the very one,
That you love the best.

I see pretty gifts falling like snow flakes
all wrapped up in sparkling, glistening paper dreams.
And long cozy nights, filled with sober, warm conversations.

Awakening to birds singing.
The sun beaming,
sending rays of wisdom.
that only winter can comprehend.




 

Prince Charming


Thursday, June 12, 2014

There's A Reason for the Pain


















Don't let nothing stop you
You have to push your way through
You see there's a reason for the pain...
Just as there's a reason for the rain


Little drops falling softly
bringing life, beauty,

and destiny
Yes, for there is a seed buried in the earth
That no one can see


Little drops falling softly
The plant begins to grow
pushing its way through the dark cold earth into
the bright shinning sun.

Strong winds blow

Clouds grow dark and torrential rains come

That little plant bows its head in the storm
and just when you think that the little plant is done
It lifts up its hands to the warm gentle sun


As it grows big and tall and becomes a tree
Because of the storm, the wind and rain
A little seedling becomes mighty!

It was the storm that caused it to fulfill its destiny

Don't let nothing stop you
You have to push your way through
There's a reason for the pain
Just as there's a reason for the rain



 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Forgive


 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Forgiveness

Why everybody so hard on the Black man?
I was only being curious.
Like all children.
I didn’t mean no harm

when I used to sneak into yo' room at night

and touch you in all the wrong places.

You was curious too,

cause you didn’t put up no fight.

 
Forgive

I was a chile

Don’t try to blame that mess on me.

Why was I the victim of yo' curiosity?

They didn’t know,

they couldn’t trust y'all boys

Sleeping upstairs on the same flo'

with us girls.

While they slept downstairs

Behind closed doors.

Parents better wake up.

Sometimes da Boogey man……

Is  yo' uncle, yo' brother, or yo' couzin.

Why is everybody so hard on the Black man?

Maybe cause you need to take some responsibility

for all the pain you inflicted upon me.

You had no right to awaken that part.

Maybe my life wouldn’t of been

so full of promiscuity.

If you had just let me be

 from the start.

I know we was kids and that was fifty years ago or so.

So I choose today to let it go.

It’s been buried all this time inside of me.

But now I lose it and set myself free.

No more victim mentality!

 
Forgiveness

Why is everybody always so hard on the Black man?

I was too young to get married.

I just did it

Cause that was my baby you carried.

I didn’t want all that responsibility.

Yeah, I know I had a good job.

But my money was for me.

I wa’nt 'bout to take care of no family.

 
Forgive

Well then Nigga, you should of let me be!

I didn’t propose to you.

You proposed to me.

I was better off with out yo sorry ass, anyway.

To stupid to know,

when you rejected me,

that was just God settin me free.

Why was I so stupid

loving you?

You was busy loving every body else.

You didn’t respect me.

And you didn’t respect yo' self.

Just a punk.

Took me eleven years to get over you.

That’s how long it took for the Kool Aid to wear off,

I drank that syrupy sweet message every Sunday in church.

What God has joined together let no man put asunder.

Why we think God had somethin' to do with that mess?

I wonder.

Till God himself came to me in a dream.

He picked me up and took me across some mountains

down south.

I was liftin' my hands praising God.

When he spoke to me.

“You have done all I asked you, except one thing.”

I heard God say.

Lord, what is it?

I promise to obey.

Then God left off talking.

But I saw my wedding ring

rise up off my hand

 floatin’ up to  the heavens.

My husband?

You want me to give up my husband?

Took me three years just to obey.

Guess you had my nose wide open,

as they say.

Living in the south with all that good old southern hospitality

had a nice healing effect on me.

I thank God everyday for settin me free.

I forgive you and I forgive me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness


 

Forgiveness

Why everybody so hard on the Black man?

I was only being curious.

Like all children.

I didn’t mean no harm

When I used to sneak into yo room at night

And touch you in all the wrong places.

You was curious too,

 cause you didn’t put up no fight.

 

Forgive

I was a chil’e

Don’t try to blame dat mess on me.

Why was I da victim of yo curiosity.

Dey didn’t know,

dey couldn’t trust yall boys

Sleeping upstairs on the same flo

with us girls.

While they slept downstairs

Behind closed doors.

Parents better wake up.

Sometimes da Boogey man……

Is  yo uncle, yo brother, or yo couzin.

Why is everybody so hard on the Black man?

Maybe cause you need to take some responsibility

For all the pain you inflicted on me.

You had no right to awaken that part

Maybe my life wouldn’t of been

so full of promiscuity.

If you had just let me be,

 from the start.

I know we was kids and that was forty years ago or so.

So I choose today to let it go.

It’s been buried all this time inside of me

But now I lose it and set myself free.

No more victim mentality!

 

Forgiveness

 

Why is everybody always so hard on the Black man?

I was too young to get married.

I just did it

Cause that was my baby you carried.

I didn’t want all that responsibility.

Yeah, I know I had a good job

But my money was for me.

I wa’nt bout to take care of no family.

 

 

Forgive

 

Well then Nigga, you should of let me be.

I didn’t propose to you

You proposed to me.

I was better off with out yo sorry ass, anyway

To stupid to know

When you rejected me

That was just God settin me free.

Why was I so stupid

Loving you.

You was busy loving every body else.

You didn’t respect me

And you didn’t respect yo self.

Just a punk.

Took me eleven years to get over you

That’s how long it took for the Kool Aid to wear off,

I drank that syrupy sweet message every Sunday in church.

What God has joined together let no man put asunder.

Why we think God had somein to do with that mess,

I wonder.

Till God himself came to me in a dream.

He picked me up and took me across some mountains

Down south.

I was liftin my hands praising God.

When he spoke to me.

“ You have done all I asked you, except on thing.”

I heard God say.

Lord, what is it?

I promise to obey.

Then God left off talking.

But I saw my weddin ring

rise up off my hand

 and rise up to  the heavens.

My husband?

You want me to give up my husband?

Took me three years just to obey.

Guess you had my nose wide open,

As they say.

Living I the south with all that good ole hospitality

Had a nice, healing affect on me.

I thank God everyday for settin me free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Awakening










Awakening

 

Waiting, anticipating, enduring,

relaxing...awakening.

Waiting for all my dreams to come true.

Waiting to see my destiny.

Waiting to become the woman, the mother, the wife I know I can be.

 

Anticipating the joy, the laughter, the excitement and wonder

Anticipating the dream that has been deferred, the life so longed after...

Anticipating what it must feel like to love, to be loved.

Anticipating birth...Our birth I've dreamed of.

The birth of unrepentant, undunting love

 

Enduring the pain of my choices, my decisions, my weaknesses.

Enduring a life I never asked for, nevertheless here it is.

Enduring his abuse, her neglect, Whippings as a child. Beatings as a wife.

Enduring the pain of my choices, her choices, his choices, this life.

 

Relaxing knowing I'm still on course, there will be no delay.

Relaxing knowing this is my time, my season, my predestined day.

Relaxing and feeling fine, at peace and content with you in mind.

Relaxing, living, breathing, giving, learning...

 

Awakening to the sun rising on the other side of this pain.

Awakening to a bright and shining horizon.

Awakening the singer,  the dancer, actor and poet, 

Awakening to a lesson well learned, life is my teacher,

 the classroom my journey.

Don't I know it.

 

The lesson is love, the greatest gift, the essence of being.

Well worth the pain endured along the way,

to know love, feel love, express love in a surreal way.

True love, pure love, is worth the wait you see,

For love, true love has awakened the true woman in me.