Saturday, June 28, 2014

My Desire

















To know love is my desire
To be touched by love
To share joy, sorrow,
hope for tomorrow

To know love is my desire
To see your smile
hear your voice calling my name
My life will never be the same


To know love is my desire
to be held, caressed, knowing you care
in a deep, real way
our lives we'll share

My heart's dream is to know true love
the kind that doesn't hurt or cause pain
To know love in this life is my desire
My life will never be the same

To know love is my desire
To see your smile
hear your voice calling my name
My life will never be the same

 

Black Girl © (All rights reserved)





The Beginning 

It all began in eternity. He was the most beautiful creature of them all. His wing span reached farther than any other angel.  His light glowed and glistened with the colors of the rainbow that surrounds the throne. He wore all the precious stones as his royal robe. He was covered with the ruby, topaz, diamond, sapphire, onyx, and jasper. His robe had the most intricate gold work, woven like golden threads, with every precious jewel laid meticulously in its settings.  He flashed like lightning as his massive wings covered the very throne of God, the Most High God. He danced and sang as he made majestic music, walking up and down in the stones of fire that surround the emerald throne like molten lava. He was the son of the morning. He was music personified. When he moved the sound of his horns filled the atmosphere. When he bowed down in worship the orchestra that was within him swept over the Kingdom and all the living creatures bowed down in unison to worship the Living God, the Most High God. Because of his beauty and his riches he became lifted up. One dark speck entered his heart. He became prideful. He thought they were worshipping him. But when he realized that he was not the object of their worship, he became mad. Every move he made, made him mad. He walked, and stringed instruments struck their cords. He turned, and the sound of the trumpet oozed from his pores as living worship to the only living God, the Most High God. He wanted it for himself. He was mad, so mad. He was created to worship, not to be worshipped, so he became, demented, deranged, crazed. He was so raving mad that he decided to dethrone God. This angel of light really thought that he could pull it off. He said in his heart "I am God." And in his insane mind he became god. And so he worshipped himself.

 When all the sons of God, the Most High God, gathered around the throne they bowed down, and he, Lucifer, bowed down. They sang worthy, worthy, worthy and he danced and lifted himself up as they worshipped. The atmosphere became fragrant like a spiced rose moving in its essence. It was living fragrance just like the living music and light of heaven. Everything in heaven is alive. The sweet smelling rose danced with living light, as each majestic musical note leaped and spun until every living thing lifted up its voice and praised the Most High God who sits on the throne.

And he thought within his heart, "I will become like the Most High. I will set my throne above his throne. I will take this holy mountain and all this glory will be mine."  So he plotted and planned to take the Kingdom of Heaven away from God, the Most High God.

The failed coup d'├ętat

 He was a prince who wanted to be King. Prince Lucifer became crafty, sinister, lewd, wicked. It was because of his beauty that he was able to convince one hundred billion angels to follow him. They worshipped him as if he were God, and that was not enough. He wanted all of creation to worship him. His kingdom of worshippers was only one third of God's Kingdom.  His lust for worship could not be satisfied until he alone was God.

 Lucifer with his princes, captains, and imps gathered their forces to fight against Almighty God. One hundred billion Angels mounted their horses. Suddenly!  In one blazing flash of light! Prince Michael slapped Lucifer off his steed and with one flap of his mighty wing he swept one hundred billion angels out of the Kingdom of God. They fell like lightning!  Down, down, down they fell, through the universe, the ionosphere, the stratosphere and troposphere, until they hit the ground face down in the dust of the earth.

 Something happened to this rebellious horde as they fell down from heaven to the dust of the earth. They lost their light. They became darkness. And darkness moved upon the face of the earth. Satan was mad, so mad that he commanded his forces to destroy the earth. His princes stomped the mountains into the oceans.  The rulers of darkness pulled the banks of the mighty Mississippi until she overflowed and flooded the entire continent of North America. His imps took the Red Sea, the Sea of Galilee and all the lakes of Africa and cast them into the Nile River. Her waters covered the continent of Africa. All the oceans became one. The waters that gave life to earth's creatures now chocked the life out of them. All the living creatures of the earth drowned as Satan and his armies vandalized the planet. So Satan moved his kingdom into the stratosphere and troposphere. And darkness was upon the face of the deep.

 As a result of such cataclysmic chaos, the planet rocked and reeled, it moaned and groaned like a mother who had witnessed the death of her first born child. The prince of the air put out her light and now she was shrouded in darkness. For eons darkness covered the earth. 

The Beginning of Time

And God said "let us go down and see what Satan has done."  And the earth was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the deep and the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said "LET there be light!"

When Satan and his evil army heard the voice of Almighty God, they fled in horror. And light shined on planet earth once again.  Michael, Gabriel and all the princes of God rushed to the balcony of heaven to watch the Creator restore planet earth. They beckoned the heavenly choir to come and see. And soon all two hundred billion angels stood and witnessed the magnificent splendor of creation.

And God, the Only Wise God, recreated the earth with his word. He commanded the heavens to hover over the earth. He called forth the dry land and separated the rivers, streams, lakes and oceans. At the voice of God the earth brought forth grass and herbs and all kinds of trees. He spoke and the sun, moon, and stars appeared. God commanded the sun to govern by day and the moon by night. They were created to rule over the seasons. God, the great and mighty God, spoke, and the waters were filled with living creatures. At his word the earth was repopulated with all kinds of sea creatures, birds, beast and creeping things.

The sons of God watched with wonder and amazement. The heavenly choir sang Hallelujah! Two hundred billion angels clapped their hands and flapped their majestic wings. The sound of rejoicing filled the heavens and the earth as the stars of God shined in glorious splendor. And Satan cringed in fear and horror at the sight of earth made whole, totally and completely restored as if his violent rape had never occurred. And he was mad, so mad.

 God looked at the earth and saw that it was good. And God said "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over all the earth." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. With his tender hand God scooped up the dust of the ground and formed man. He shaped him and formed him to look like Almighty God. And the creator kneeled down as he looked into the face of man and breathed into him the breath of life. The substance of God was released from the mouth of God into the nostrils of man. His breath is alive as everything about God is alive. And in his breath he deposited within man, his spirit. The living spirit of God now dwelt in man. And man became a living soul. God picked up the man and took him into eternity. While in eternity God caused all the beast of the earth to pass before man. And man was given the privilege of naming every creature, every creature that dwells in the earth.

 So God the creator prepared for man a special place. He called it The Garden of Eden. In this garden man walked and talked with God. He walked between heaven and earth into eternity whenever God came to visit him. And God said "It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a wife." He caused a deep sleep to come upon the man and took out of his side a rib. And out of the dust of the ground he formed woman. He made her from the rib bone of Adam. He shaped her and molded her and placed in her a womb to bring forth children. God gently nudged the man and he awakened from his sleep. When he opened his eyes he saw the woman dressed in white light. She was clothed with the majestic light of the living God. Her light was the same light as his, they were clothed in the splendor of God. For God crowned them with his glory and honor. And now man was the most beautiful creature of them all. And Satan was mad, so mad.

 Now the Lord God placed in Eden, fruit trees, and he told man that he could eat from every tree in the garden except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil stood in the middle of the beautiful garden that God had prepared for man, right next to the tree of Life.  One day Adam and his wife, Eve, for that is what he called her, were picking fruit to eat. Everything that God made was good, very good. And Satan entered the serpent. It was a magnificent creature, his skin was iridescent with all the colors of the rainbow; the same colors that Lucifer once illuminated when he danced and worshipped before the throne of God, the Most High God.

 Satan knew that it was because of pride that he had fallen and he plotted to plant that same seed in the heart of man.  He chose his words very carefully "do you want to be like God?" he asked the woman. "We are already like God, we are made in his image" She replied. "Then why did he tell you not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil?" Before she could answer he interjected "it is because he knows that if you eat from that tree that you will be like him, you will know all things, good, and evil."  And so she looked at the tree and examined it. It was lovely, its fruit was luscious and fragrant. She said within herself "this fruit will make me wise, I will be just like the Most High God." and she took of the fruit thereof and did eat, and gave also to her husband and he did eat. As soon as they disobeyed God, the glory departed. Their light diminished. The majesty and splendor that surrounded them returned to God; and they were naked and ashamed.

 Something happened when man disobeyed God. There was a transfer of power. Keys were exchanged in the spirit realm. Those keys were released from the hands of Adam into the hands of Satan. And now Satan, the most wicked of them all, took over planet earth. He set up his Kingdom to rule God's most precious creation, man. That old devil, Satan, assigned territory to his princes and they became principalities over regions. His imps, now known as demons took possession of men's souls. And all of creation groaned and moaned for the sons of God who had fallen. Man was now death doomed, mortal. But God had a plan.




The Banishment


The day Adam disobeyed God his vision became limited. It was as if a veil had been placed over his eyes and he could only see the material realm. The spirit realm was now hidden. Adam and Eve made a feeble attempt to hide their nakedness by covering themselves with fig leaves. At that exact moment the voice of God came walking in the garden. "Adam where are you?" God's voice whispered through the trees and shrubs, it gently glided up and encircled Adam and Eve's exposed bodies. "Why are you hiding?" His tender voice queried. "Because I am naked" "Who told you, you were naked?" "The woman that you gave me, told me to eat of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and when I ate the fruit, my eyes became darkened for I saw our nakedness. I felt ashamed, because of my shame, I made these coverings for us."  "Because you chose to ignore my word, you have brought a curse upon the whole earth (world). The ground is cursed and shall bring forth weeds and thorns. The beast of the field are cursed and will devour one another. The woman will desire to be ruled by you and in sorrow she will bring forth children.  By the sweat of your brow you will work the ground from whence you came, you will till the soil and it will resist you, until it overcomes you, and the dust of the earth will rise up against you, to bring you down to the grave. The curse will war against you until the seed of the woman crushes his head. Then God looked at the serpent. The blaze of his piercing eyes burned the legs right off the serpent’s body, for all serpents before the fall of man walked upright. And you, you will eat the dust of the earth until the end of time. Then God looked at Satan, for Satan thought that he had disguised himself so well that God would not recognize him. "The seed of the woman will crush your head and you will bruise his heel."  Satan ran away in horror. He flew into his dark, dank and dreadful lair terrified at the words of Almighty God. "Seed of the woman, seed of the woman, what does he mean, seed of the woman? Crush my head, crush my head, what does he mean, the seed of the woman shall crush my head?" And Satan was mad, so mad.

God killed a lamb and cut away his hide. From the hide, still wet with the blood of the slain lamb, God made for Adam and Eve, coverings. He drove them out of the garden that he had prepared for them into the sweltering hot wilderness. And at the portal now hidden from man, God placed a mighty angel with a blazing sword to prevent man from entering the garden and eating of the fruit from the tree of life. "If he eats from the tree of life he will live forever as a fallen spirit just like Satan" said Almighty God.

Adam loved his wife Eve and she conceived.
When her time to deliver came,
She screamed and wailed in pain.
She pushed and moaned.
She pushed and groaned.
She pushed and in her sorrow she cried out "O God help me!"
And God visited Eve.
Once again the angels peered over heaven's balcony
as God interacted with man.

At that exact moment her child sprang forth from the birth canal. His cry seemed to fill all the earth. It was the first time the cry of a newborn baby kissed the fresh breeze of the now restored planet.

 "What is it, what is this thing?" Satan asked his peons.
"It is a man child."
"What?"
"A man child."
"What is a man child?"
"Is this the seed of the woman that will crush my kingdom?"
  
"How can this puny little thing crush your kingdom? It is only the son of Adam and Eve." 
"How do you know what it is, how do you know it is their son, how do you know?"
"I heard them say so."
"But how do they know, how do they know what it is?!"
"They still talk to God when they offer those burnt sacrifices to him" answered his lieutenant.”
"Why does God talk to man?”
"What is man that God is concerned about him? Or the son of man that God visits him?" Said Satan and the heavenly host (in unison) as God assigned an angel to the newborn child.


In those days mortals lived for hundreds of years. They married and intermarried until they populated the earth. God continued to visit man and guide him by his spirit. And Satan was mad, so mad. Satan and his dark kingdom reigned clandestinely over the whole world. He vowed to destroy God's newest creation, man. And so he turned brother against brother. Husband against wife. Father against son, and mother against daughter. He was the mastermind behind every war. Every human conflict had Satan as its progenitor. He sent plagues upon the earth, Black Death, yellow fever, bubonic plague, AIDS. And yet man continued to multiply. Satan instigated wars; the opium wars, the French revolution, War World War One, World War Two, the Korean Conflict, The war of Vietnam, Iraq, and Iran, the attack on the World Trade center. He turned man against man until man began to live in fear and paranoia. World leaders prepared for war secretly. Weapons of mass destruction were invented to destroy the planet at the push of a button. Yet with all his evil devices, Satan could not stop man and woman from bringing forth sons and daughters. In desperation Satan declared "I will destroy the woman, I will crush her, weaken her, lessen her, invalidate her, until she is the least of them all. And then I will destroy her seed, her precious seed will never crush my kingdom, I will reign forever."




The Seed of the Woman

(The choir of The Church of the First Born sings the Hallelujah Chorus)
Hallelujah, hallelujah,
For the Lord God Omnipotent reign-eth,
Hallelujah, hallelujah,
For the Lord God Omnipotent reign-eth,
And He shall reign forever and ever,
And he shall reign forever and ever
Forever and ever,
Hallelujah, hallelujah,
For-eh-eh-ver and ever
King of Kings and Lord of Lords
King of Kings and Lord of Lords
Forever and ever
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Halle-lu-jah
Amen, amen, amen, amen….
Ah men!

Dana, Wanda, Freddie, Tameka, and Dawn meet in the choir room to put away their robes after Pastor Jenkins gave the benediction.  (Dana, Freddie, and Tameka make small talk as Tameka eavesdrops on Dawn and Wanda.)

"Service was beautiful today, Pastor really preached..." Freddie said to Dana

Wanda and Dawn step away from the others.
"Did you take the test?"

“Not yet"

"you're supposed to take it first thing in the morning"

"Girl not any more I can pee on the stick anytime and it will tell me if I'm pregnant or not" 

Wanda and Dawn rush to Wanda's car. 

 "Slow down, what is the hurry"

"I can't wait to find out if you are pregnant or not"

 Dawn flushed the toilet as she came out of the bathroom.

"Well?"
"It has a pink line, I guess I'm pregnant" Dawn burst into tears.

"Why are you crying?"

"My granddaddy would turn over in his grave if he knew that I'm pregnant out of wedlock"

"What? Out of wedlock! Girl nobody says that anymore. God is the giver of life, the angels in heaven are rejoicing."


 (Back at the church)

Tameka whispers to Freddie and Dana-

"Did you hear Dawn and Wanda?"

"No, I wasn't listening"

"She asked her if she took the test"

"What test?"

"I bet she's pregnant"

"And if she is its none of your business"

"My daddy would put her out of the church if he was alive"

"That’s why he is not alive, putting people out of the church for being human, God don't like ugly, even if it’s the Pastor"

"This is a holiness church, if they can't live holy then they can leave"

"You act like God is mad at us for being human, we all have a purpose, and if Dawn is pregnant then that child has a God given purpose"


(Flash back)

Five year old Tameka ran into the living room.

"I'm telling mommy and daddy on you, you peed on me!"

"Please don't tell" cried Junior.

"MOMMY!! Junior peed on me"

 "Junior did what?!"
"He asked me if I wanted to know how to make babies, then he said now lay down and take off your panties. Then he laid on my butt and peed on me!"

Johnny, Tameka's daddy tied eight year old Junior to the bedpost, and beat him with an extension cord. He beat him for half an hour. Finally, Jean could not take her son's screams any longer. "Johnny that’s enough, stop it right now!" Tameka never told on Junior again, she was afraid that her daddy would kill him next time. Junior touched Tameka in her sleep when she was six. He peeked through the crack in the bathroom door when she was seven. He pulled her dress up and ran, when she was eight. By the time Tameka was nine...she rolled up her skirt and switched her hips from left to right when she walked (when her mother and father were not looking). On the first day of school at Webber Junior High, Tameka walked into Mrs. Williams' homeroom class and sat in the seat next to Brian Williams. (Brian had the deepest dimples and his big afro made him look like Michael Jackson). She hiked up her skirt before she sat down. She folded her legs and smiled. Everything about twelve year old Tameka was sensual, her smile, her laugh, the way she rolled her eyes...she stuffed her bra and painted her lips red to feel pretty, sexy, wanted.

(Tameka and Dawn are seated at an all-you-can-eat restaurant) 
"All these young people think about is sex; Sex, sex, sex. Then they come to church and sing in the choir like they are little angels."

"You know Tameka, The church is just where the young people should be, they need love, unconditional love, and if the church doesn't show them that kind of love then what are we here for?"

Tameka bowed her head and prayed over her food, in a loud voice.

"Lord we thank you for this food we are about to receive for the nourishment of our bodies in Jesus name Amen." 

 Everyone in the restaurant looked embarrassed or annoyed.

"Why do you have to parade your holiness, Tameka?"

"I am a child of God I don't care who knows it. How is James acting?"

"He came home from work yesterday and cussed me and the girls out."

"For what?'

"He never needs a reason, he just cusses and fusses, I think he is trying to drive us crazy."


(flashback  1964)

Fourteen year old James walked into the thirty seven year old prostitute's bedroom. She was the same height as he. Her disheveled black hair was curled in some places and bushy in others. It smelled of Bergamot and dirty straightening comb. Her breasts once round and firm, hung under her nearly sheer t-shirt. Her breath entered his nostrils with the aroma of strong beer. The room smelled like old mildewed carpet that had never been vacuumed. Shabby red curtains hung from one small window. A dingy gray shade clapped against the dirty window panes as the wind whistled through the cracks. She took a deep drag from her cigarette and taking his hand in hers, walked him over to the bed. The smoke from the cigarette formed a dark cloud over the dingy, dusty, queen size bed. A mouse the size of a woman's fist ran across the headboard, as five cock roaches scurried over her half-finished dinner plate. 

 "Is this your first time?"

"Uh, yeah"

"Your brothers told me today is your birthday"

"Uh yeah"

"Then happy birthday baby boy"

She pulled his shirt over his shoulders, over his head. He felt scared and curious all at the same time. Her kiss was the kiss of death, her fingers gripped his body and her tongue rolled over his lips like sweet dripping honey. James hated her. He hated his brothers for bringing him here. He hated his sisters because they were just like her. And he hated his mother.

Every time James tried to urinate he cried, the pain hurt so bad. It burned like fire.
"I must be dying, she gave me something that hoe, that nasty, stankin’ hoe."
 (1994)
"You just a nasty, stankin’ hoe!"

"James I am tired of you calling me a hoe, is your Mama a hoe?"

"Yeah, she a hoe."

“What about your sisters, are they hoes?"

"Yeah, all women are hoes."

"Eww, I hate you!”

Before she realized what she was doing. Dana picked the dinner plate up off the table and threw it at his head. James ducked just in time.

"Hate is a strong word" James said calmly. Dana cried. James smirked. They had only been married two months. It was as if James stepped out of his body and Satan stepped in. Dana had been saved seventeen years.
“How did I let this snake fool his way into my life?” she thought.





 (Present 1999)
 “Well, what is it that you are doing that makes him fuss so much?”
 
“Listen Tameka, I told you, I don’t do anything. James acts like he hates me.  He was sitting at the dining room table this morning reading his bible before I left for church.”




When James and Dana first got married James attended church with Dana every Sunday, and he always came home mad. He felt as if Dana was telling all of his secrets to the pastor, and for that reason he hated her. When in reality, it was God who told the secrets of James' heart to the pastor as he preached. James stopped attending church, trying to avoid the voice of God, and his conscience.



Dana walks into the dining room where James is sitting at the table reading his bible.

"I'm leaving for the 8:00 service. If you want, I can get the girls ready and we can all go to the 11:00 service together."

 “Bitch.”

“What did you call me James?”

“Bitch.”

“I’m tired of you callin’ me a bitch, I’m on my way to church and you sitting there reading your bible out loud so the whole house can hear you, and call me a bitch! What are you reading your bible for? When you going to change?!”
“Hoe.
“The kids are awake, they can hear you.”

“Take em’ wit’ you, then, hoe.”

Dana slammed the door and ran to the car with tears streaming down her face. She raced to church to hear the sermon as if her life depended on it.

 
To be continued

Friday, June 27, 2014

The Greatest Gift ©

















You were not the most handsome man
Nor were you the kindest
You had eyes full of pain
Sad, sad eyes
Anger was your constant companion
Why were you so angry Flyn?
Who hurt you so deeply?
Sometimes when I looked at you
I saw a hurting child
I wanted to wrap my arms around you
and hold you close for a while
But you wouldn't let me

You never let me in
Your pain was deep and dark
I wish I knew how to love you
I wish I knew how to soothe you
You made me cry
Your cruel words
Hard looks
Silence, violence
You hurt me so deeply
When I swallowed the bottle of pain pills
I really did want to die

I couldn't let death win
I had to fight
You were my best teacher
I cried out to God day and night
The years passed and
you never changed
But I grew stronger everyday
My faith in God did not sway

I wish I could have loved you past
the hatred of your stepfather
your childhood pain
Vietnam
drug addiction
alcoholism
homelessness
anger
shame

You never learned to conquer your demons
When you died
I cried day and night
I cried
because I love you still
I love you Flyn
I always will

You taught me that love covers
a multitude of faults
Love is the strongest force on
the face of the earth
Love last forever
transcends this life
heals every hurt
eases every pain
When all else is gone
Love remains
Thank you for teaching me
the greatest gift is love



















Flynard Cunningham
May 15, 1949 - August 9, 2013

Monday, June 23, 2014

Hair

Someone said its your crown and glory
but my hair is another story

It reflects y personality
Some days its big and wild  on some days its long and straight

I like it short and curly
or shaved on one side and braided on another

Some people wear it bushy and bold
and some like it silky and tame

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Night Season
















Night season shrouded me like a heavy garment
and choked me like thick smoke
My breath escaped this earthen vessel
and sang a song of despair
My tears flowed like streams in the desert
and carried me to a place, a secret place
I found hope there

Night season stalked me like a jealous lover
You will never find another
I will follow you all of your days
Smother you, cover you
Never release my hand
He chased me like a ravenous beast. I ran,
crawled and climbed into the secret place
There I found peace

He wooed me into his bosom again
He had me in his grip
His waters came rushing in
like a mountainous wave
Lifting me up and crashing me to the ground
I lay there broken, gasping for breath, life, relief
I fell down, down, down
Too much pain
I feel like I'm going insane

I saw the earth open and heard these words spoken
Just give in, you can not win
I have reigned since the beginning of time
You belong to me your soul is mine
In desperation I heard my spirit say
Speak to the mountain
Speak to the mountain
Speak to the mountain MOVE!

To the mountain I began to say
You are not my master
I will not fall into your pit
You don't own my soul
You cannot win, I relinquish your control

Healing rays lifted me up from where I had fallen
I remembered my time
In the secret place
And my soul sang, my soul sang, my soul sang...
There is no darkness in the secret place
Only the light of the Son
I will walk in the light of day

Night season began to melt away
I saw mountains move, shimmy, shake and sway
Dark shadows ran from the light with shrieks of fear
As my song filled the atmosphere

Day season flashed like lightning from the east
I heard him say
My child Its going to be a bright sun shiny day,
you have conquered your beast

Day season promised never to leave or forsake me
Into his secret place he lifted and carried me
There we reign together in glorious victory
There is a secret place to those who seek his face
Seek his face and find the secret place

 

In the Morning

 
In the morning
We will dance, shout and sing
In the morning
We will laugh, run and leap
Crying tears of joy

Our night season is over
Our new day is dawning
Its a day of victory
A day of rejoicing

In the morning
I will remember yesterday was only a test
A vapor of smoke, a shadow of turning

In the morning
I will live forever
In green pastures
Beside still waters
In eternal light
My evening has passed
Morning is here at last